realized this morning
too often i build a barricade
unable to let in
unwilling to step out
holding so many at arm's length
and i wonder why
hating myself all the while for doing it
yet i can't make it leave
trying to figure myself out
sometimes i can barely breathe
so here i am wondering why
i'd do almost anything for those in my life
yet i keep that black box closed shut
for just about everyone
but for the first time
it's cracking and breaking into pieces
an intensity i can't describe
and i find it hard to breathe again
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