beam

I really don't have anything I can put into words
But the Weepies always say it best:::
"I Was Made for Sunny Days"

found the book you gave me
when we were first in bloom
when i thought that you might save me 
from the dark side of the moon
instead we both went walking 
to the shadows in the bloom
and we never did stop talking
and you still light up the room
i say

i was made for sunny days
i made do with grey
but i didn't stay
i was made for sunny days 
and i was made for you

be

not a day goes by

when you're not on my mind

in my thoughts

in the faces that pass me by

in the letters I write

in the songs I sing

be my muse

be the arms that keep me warm

be the sun after the storm

be the voice in my ears

be the one I lean on

too long I've been walking alone

on my own

Always been strong enough for myself

but for once I would consider falling

if you were there to catch me

neither

the sunny days are here again
and thoughts of you bring the smile to this face
and this heart again

but on the other side
you've torn me up and sideways
but i'm still in pieces about you

here i am, fork in the road
heart split up and down the middle
i take a look to my right
and to my left

so i back up and run away in neither direction
to tape and glue the pieces together on my own
again

sunny days

pearl white clouds 

drift across an almost cerulean sky 

and i close my eyes

and i think of you

so much of my life

spent running and chasing

after all the things i thought i wanted

all the obligations i ever had

to take one minute

breathe in and pause

i remember the happy memories i've made

and i'm suddenly hopeful

for the sunny days again 

searching

always prided myself on my strength
my resilience
but ever since that one fall day
i've been crumbling
from all of this

wanting nothing more than
to wrap myself
and only myself
in a cocoon
and on my own,
search for my happiness again

pieces

sunlight drifts through the curtains
and the rays cast a shadow on the wall
oh what a time it's been
filled with thoughts and memories
happy memories and sad interludes
weighted by the ones of you

now just a collection of broken pieces
shattered through the transit
and i'm held together
by glue and tape
and part of me wishes i could turn back time
and do it all over again

cold water

cold water of the Atlantic
rushing over my toes and around my ankles
staring out into the horizon
life on my mind
caught between the easy way
and the right way
torn between speaking and silence
these words need to fly out soon

because i hate to give up
but i can't repeat last fall this spring
waiting in line for 90 minutes
for a 2 minute thrill ride
was quite the story of my life
and i can count the good times on two hands
but not the tears that fell far and in between
so my toes dip into the coarse sand again

too often putting others' happiness before my own
the people pleaser
the unconditional helper
watching the water i realize
i've given up my own happiness

but no longer

dawn

end of another year, another life
each year, the lessons learned
become a longer list

this year i learned
that nothing is black and white
and life is lived in shades of grey
that emotions sometimes just need to be cried out
and only the true friends hold you
that love is a present
but it comes not without heartbreak
that the tears last night
are only for a better morning
that the dreams of yesterday
are only for a better tomorrow
that the hands i held once
are only meant to be let go
that knowing the right thing to do
and doing the right thing are two completely different things
that hand prints on my skin
leave bruises on my heart
that those same bruises eventually heal
and my resilience only makes me stronger
that i am a better person because of you
and i have no regrets

that the happy ending is sometimes just
letting it all go