price

sleepless nights and a bottle of tears
the price you pay for playing with fire

struggling constantly to find oxygen
reasons and excuses that become truths

but the beauty of this burning
keeps me mesmerized from the start

and I keep on pushing the limits of my soul
and the corners of my heart for this

?

"happy is the heart that still feels pain"

I've never known truer words than those
what is life without contrast?
to define pleasure, we must hurt
to define good, there must be a bad

love shouldn't be a battlefield
but oh some days it feels like it
torn between the right thing
and the easy thing
torn between what you need
and what you want
torn between holding on for dear life
and walking away for the greater good

always been about fight or flight
flying was always the easy way out
but choosing between what is easy
and what should be?

...the questions with no answers

scattered notes

One, two, three
Paper boxes that hold bits and pieces
Compartmentalizing my life
Just like I do all the time
Keeping life in near square boxes
But when all I want to do is keep one big box
To hold everyone and everything together
Mess me up a little
Tear down the walls a little

Unwrap the sheets around your thoughts
Don't give me a reason, an excuse
Feels like I'm on that roller coaster again
Not just someone to hold
But someone to hold for
Weights on your shoulders
Doesn't have to be all yours alone
Not asking for the caring, only for the sharing

searching

Waiting for redemption
Struggling to escape the past that haunts me
Unsure of what I did wrong all those times
Or was it just the choices I make?

Wishing I was a little bit braver
A little bit stronger
Anything so that this beating
Heart can stop hurting

It's a tearstained keyboard
And I could try to talk myself into sanity
But I know me too well
To be able to live a lie

the old songs

photographs and memories
pictures of those i love and those i miss
but nothing takes me back
like the tune of a familiar song

close my eyes and i can see
young girl of fourteen
listening to the words they sing
trying to imagine the love and
the heartache from every guitar string

years later on
close my eyes and i can feel
every feeling i felt
the longing from the song of a foreign tongue 
the bliss of a carefree and optimistic voice
the heartache from a melancholy guitar solo

every minute a memory
forever etched in the folds of my brain
carved into a soft heart of glass

fools

roads are long and so foggy I can't see
where am I headed? where are we going?
living from the day to day wondering about tomorrow
and everything under the sun

so come walk with me for just a little bit
show me that today is a good day
sing a song we both remember
and just take all that i have

heartaches that pulled apart the ribcage
naked red beating hearts fragile in our hands
scared to the end of time but waiting for just one moment 
oh aren't we all just fools in love?

dreamers and believers

The dreamer and the believer
Walked hand in hand
Sandy beaches and concrete roads
The dreamer paused and looked around
Saw the idealized life
Made up beauty through rose colored glasses
But the believer saw too much
From its own travels of the past
only saw the skeletons of an idealistic time

Together the dreamer and the believer walked on
Each striving to take the lead on the dance floor
called life

intertwined

pitch black skies and a chilly breeze
dances across my face and my toes
fighting to take just one step forward at a time

learning that it's the steps that matter
more than where I find a home
though wanting nothing more than the comfort of the indoor

where do you begin
when the life you thought you had shatters to the ground
actions and inactions intertwined

simply trying to understand the world
a broken rib cage enveloping a patient heart
just watching the world turn through heavy lidded eyes once again

everything I've ever learned in this life so far
seems like penguins and polar bears
are really just the same after all