water fall

sat out in the sun today
minutes for the first time in a long time
feeling the heat bear down on my skin
and listened to the water fall

wanted to clear my head
clear the dust from this past week
prepared for a new one
no way to be but completely alert

but all i could do
was sit in the sun
watch the water fall
and miss you

cold air

it's a pitch black night sky that envelopes me
and it's a hard concrete that hits my soles
i know when i wake tomorrow
my legs won't be able to carry my weight
but then cold air fills up my heartfelt lungs
and horses run through my veins

running on 3 hours of sleep
literally, all day
but never feeling more alive or awake
than those minutes spent chasing after nothing
feet just passing time
and i know there's only one reason
why i'll wake up tomorrow
and feel this good kind of pain

rediscovered these from a while ago - poems on photos

one and two

investment banking is a sprint
public accounting a marathon
case competitions sink or swim
and academics a fight

hardwired to compete
like a hamster running in a wheel
always running the race
falling in and out of breath everyday

this morning i woke up and realized
not everything in life is a race
the beauty of dancing is just
one step up and two steps back
and on and on it goes

so forgive me and the limits i push
because i'm just learning how to breathe again

runner

too impatient for walking

always been a runner

chasing after humans and ghosts

after thoughts and emotions

after time and after you 

always been a hunter

never really pulled an arrow

too scared of the aftermath

the morning after the catch 

sometimes running so fast 

i lose my breath in the air 

heart stops in time

but i remember your smile

and your hands

and i make it through another day

because there is hope for tomorrow

and every day after that 

midnight lights

Another day gone by
and still the first thought and the last note
on my mind remains the same

looking for reasons to stay focused
terrified of waking up in the morning
and standing with an empty box in my hands

but love is patient
and love is kind
and love is little leaps of faith

i'm standing on the edge of a cliff
toes ready and willing to let go
trusting that when i fall
you'll be there to catch me

intensity

realized this morning
too often i build a barricade
unable to let in
unwilling to step out

holding so many at arm's length
and i wonder why
hating myself all the while for doing it
yet i can't make it leave

trying to figure myself out
sometimes i can barely breathe
so here i am wondering why
i'd do almost anything for those in my life
yet i keep that black box closed shut
for just about everyone

but for the first time
it's cracking and breaking into pieces
an intensity i can't describe
and i find it hard to breathe again