cold water

cold water of the Atlantic
rushing over my toes and around my ankles
staring out into the horizon
life on my mind
caught between the easy way
and the right way
torn between speaking and silence
these words need to fly out soon

because i hate to give up
but i can't repeat last fall this spring
waiting in line for 90 minutes
for a 2 minute thrill ride
was quite the story of my life
and i can count the good times on two hands
but not the tears that fell far and in between
so my toes dip into the coarse sand again

too often putting others' happiness before my own
the people pleaser
the unconditional helper
watching the water i realize
i've given up my own happiness

but no longer