is

love is you
love is seeing your smile
love is the tears that fall
love is the nervous butterflies
love is you in the corner of my eye
love is the upside down priorities
love is the moments we have
love is having your attention
love is watching you work
love is wanting the best for you
love is letting go
love is all this is

warm

sunlight warms my skin
as i wake up to a brand new day
how one week can change on a dime
this is finally my time

the little things
that lift my thoughts
hug my heart
and I stop in my tracks

easy to think about what I don't have
and forget about what I do
but each day passes in the same way
and i have a choice

need a daily reminder
to think of the good
it's not about finding my happiness
but creating it

go on

there's a silencer on my gun
muffling the sound
of the bullet of my words
but the shells don't hit the ground


go on, go on
break my heart
I never wanted anything more
than to be yours
so go on, go on
break my heart


like an ice pick
the thought of you
chips away at this iceberg
until I'm a melted pool


go on, go on
break my heart
I never wanted anything more
than to be yours
so go on, go on


You might drive on
and pass me by
but that's alright
that's okay
you could've had this all


go on, go on
break my heart
I never wanted anything more
than to be yours
so go on, go on
break my heart
break my heart
breakin' my heart everyday

box

today the realization arrived
a moment of sane clarity
this burden no longer as oppressive
as the water against my chest
in this pool of emotions i've been drowning in

hard to believe it's only been
a little over a month since
i jumped into the deep end
dying a little bit everyday
gasping for air through a straw

i put you in a box
a treasure chest
and dropped it in the deep end of the pool
braving waves and oxygen deprivation
to get to where you were

i realize now
the box was a mistake
shouldn't have been this way
can't get those weeks of my life back
but i've cut open the masking tape
and you're no longer in
this empty box in my hands

reboot

mind's been alternating
between sleep and hibernation
doesn't matter if i'm tired
information still being input
Word documents of text
and PowerPoint slides of equations
there's not enough RAM to keep up
need to get a bigger harddrive
for all the data to be stored in here
wish i could restart this mind
fresh start
or if i could shutdown
only for a little while
let this mind rest
and reboot again

dreamlike

can't remember the last time
when a dream was so vivid
so tangible
a relatively short 30 minutes
yet felt like forever in my mind

contentful restful sleep
didn't want to wake up
when reality is nothing like the
feelings in my head
frighteningly in your arms
and you in mine

the brain knows its not real
but it can't erase from my skin
the slightest hint of you

fairy tails

tail: \ˈtāl\:  : the blank space at the bottom of a page


singing and writing

songs of happiness love and 

fairy tale endings 

but they're only songs

where will i begin to find

the beginning 

to my happy ending

fairy tales spin webs 

and clutter reality 

prince charmings don't really exist

clearing out the corners

of this heart

and i sit here once again
waiting for an ending
any ending
to this story i've spun 

moments

like fingertips in the dark
i can't see where this road is going
bare toes gripping to the tightrope
trying to balance it all

all i have
are these snapshots of moments
little tiny minuscule things
replaying over and over
in the projector of my mind

moments of strength
when i decide to let go
when i want to give up
cut out
run away from it all

moments of weakness perhaps
when this heart wavers
because this soul knows
THIS is the road for me

unsure as ever
traveling in circles until
i get back to square 1
moments of bliss
and devastation envelope my soul

only searching for one more moment
one song
one melody
one word
to bring me to my knees