true perfection has no existence
a figment of our imaginations
viewed through rose colored glasses
perfection does exist
not in the individual
but in the unit they create
in the end all just trial and error
until the discovery of the piece that fits
into the heart-shaped hole in your chest
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
present tense
never had to walk this line before
between protecting myself
and destroying ourselves
caught between being happy in the present
worried about the future
and haunted by what was before
so hold my tongue
and calm my soul
erase the words I used to know
Sunday, October 09, 2011
clarity
clarity shines through in a moment
of sun rays and dust
watching the world through rose-colored lenses again
blurring the lines of wrong and right
never settling for less than everything
would it be harder to push away now
or harder to let go later?
is the present worth the future
and everything it will not hold?
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
gray
stop and go
right and wrong
no room for error or for gray
but what happens
when gray is all there is
and a heart that says yes
but a mind that says no?
right and wrong
no room for error or for gray
but what happens
when gray is all there is
and a heart that says yes
but a mind that says no?
Sunday, July 10, 2011
mute
open eyes
but there's no sight
open mouth
but there's no words
open lungs
but there's no oxygen
actions and reactions
cause and effect
vocal cords
now a phantom limb
Thursday, July 07, 2011
melt
stories and words carved in ice
flying shards of cold water
only to melt at the slightest touch
and the words melted as slow
as once were carved
ba da ba da ba da ba ba
open arms and closed eyes
feel a fire burning
brighter than sunshine
heat melting ice to nothingness
flying shards of cold water
only to melt at the slightest touch
and the words melted as slow
as once were carved
ba da ba da ba da ba ba
open arms and closed eyes
feel a fire burning
brighter than sunshine
heat melting ice to nothingness
Saturday, July 02, 2011
reckless
rose petals soft to the touch
fragrant red and vibrant perfume
where have you gone again
gone for the day or gone forever
all that's left are thorns and bee stings
the small things that hurt the most
no u-turns on this one way street
nowhere to go but on
so drive fast and reckless
anything to feel something
other than the nothingness
that was left behind
fragrant red and vibrant perfume
where have you gone again
gone for the day or gone forever
all that's left are thorns and bee stings
the small things that hurt the most
no u-turns on this one way street
nowhere to go but on
so drive fast and reckless
anything to feel something
other than the nothingness
that was left behind
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
left to hold
coral and purple scarf
bracelets of yellow and blue
wearing the memories of a good thing
but i slip through slim fingers
with nothing left to hold
and just a picture in my mind
this time
bracelets of yellow and blue
wearing the memories of a good thing
but i slip through slim fingers
with nothing left to hold
and just a picture in my mind
this time
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
set fire
go 90 in a 65 zone
red taillights against a black sky
guitar solos and a steady beat
matching a pulse
not much heart left in me tonight
carved it out
set it on fire
and watched it burn
like a bad John Mayer song
living lies in a burning room
keep the good
and throw the rest
book-tax temporary differences
and everything meaningful in life
all just a matter of one thing
timing
red taillights against a black sky
guitar solos and a steady beat
matching a pulse
not much heart left in me tonight
carved it out
set it on fire
and watched it burn
like a bad John Mayer song
living lies in a burning room
keep the good
and throw the rest
book-tax temporary differences
and everything meaningful in life
all just a matter of one thing
timing
Sunday, June 19, 2011
anything
"anything other than yes is no
anything other than stay is go
anything other than i love you is lying"*
but life is cruel
never black and white
middle grounds torn apart
a cold wind and dry eyes
and it's
everything i never wanted
*john mayer
anything other than stay is go
anything other than i love you is lying"*
but life is cruel
never black and white
middle grounds torn apart
a cold wind and dry eyes
and it's
everything i never wanted
*john mayer
Friday, June 17, 2011
mirrors
easy to throw a mirror to the ground
harder to pick up the shattered pieces
easy to write love letters
harder to tear them apart
remembering a taste, a touch
halo effect of everything that had been
close my windows to the world
and let the rain wash me away
remembering a look, those eyes
but never stopped gazing over the gate
carve out a hole, fill it with those pieces
jump into the deep blue but i don't swim
remembering all the endings
and missing the way they did
the further the road traveled
the more in the rearview to miss
harder to pick up the shattered pieces
easy to write love letters
harder to tear them apart
remembering a taste, a touch
halo effect of everything that had been
close my windows to the world
and let the rain wash me away
remembering a look, those eyes
but never stopped gazing over the gate
carve out a hole, fill it with those pieces
jump into the deep blue but i don't swim
remembering all the endings
and missing the way they did
the further the road traveled
the more in the rearview to miss
Monday, June 06, 2011
fire
a ring of fire enveloped me today
blood bubbled within
rising and rising until
bubbled over and out
drops that rolled down the hill
burning cold on my skin
born to play with fire
but it ends up the same
something, someone ends up in flames
blood bubbled within
rising and rising until
bubbled over and out
drops that rolled down the hill
burning cold on my skin
born to play with fire
but it ends up the same
something, someone ends up in flames
sails
water rushes past metal sheets
stare out to the horizon line
past the trees and the mountains
looking up to the sky of white on blue
listened to songs I once loved for the voices
but today I felt the words
with a boat to sail away on
and a plane to fly away on
distance to travel unknown
patience for peace ever elusive
if had jumped overboard into the deep blue
no one would have blinked
until too late
stare out to the horizon line
past the trees and the mountains
looking up to the sky of white on blue
listened to songs I once loved for the voices
but today I felt the words
with a boat to sail away on
and a plane to fly away on
distance to travel unknown
patience for peace ever elusive
if had jumped overboard into the deep blue
no one would have blinked
until too late
Monday, May 23, 2011
price
sleepless nights and a bottle of tears
the price you pay for playing with fire
struggling constantly to find oxygen
reasons and excuses that become truths
but the beauty of this burning
keeps me mesmerized from the start
and I keep on pushing the limits of my soul
and the corners of my heart for this
the price you pay for playing with fire
struggling constantly to find oxygen
reasons and excuses that become truths
but the beauty of this burning
keeps me mesmerized from the start
and I keep on pushing the limits of my soul
and the corners of my heart for this
Friday, May 20, 2011
?
"happy is the heart that still feels pain"
I've never known truer words than those
what is life without contrast?
to define pleasure, we must hurt
to define good, there must be a bad
love shouldn't be a battlefield
but oh some days it feels like it
torn between the right thing
and the easy thing
torn between what you need
and what you want
torn between holding on for dear life
and walking away for the greater good
always been about fight or flight
flying was always the easy way out
but choosing between what is easy
and what should be?
...the questions with no answers
I've never known truer words than those
what is life without contrast?
to define pleasure, we must hurt
to define good, there must be a bad
love shouldn't be a battlefield
but oh some days it feels like it
torn between the right thing
and the easy thing
torn between what you need
and what you want
torn between holding on for dear life
and walking away for the greater good
always been about fight or flight
flying was always the easy way out
but choosing between what is easy
and what should be?
...the questions with no answers
Sunday, May 15, 2011
scattered notes
One, two, three
Paper boxes that hold bits and pieces
Compartmentalizing my life
Just like I do all the time
Keeping life in near square boxes
But when all I want to do is keep one big box
To hold everyone and everything together
Mess me up a little
Tear down the walls a little
Unwrap the sheets around your thoughts
Don't give me a reason, an excuse
Feels like I'm on that roller coaster again
Not just someone to hold
But someone to hold for
Weights on your shoulders
Doesn't have to be all yours alone
Not asking for the caring, only for the sharing
Paper boxes that hold bits and pieces
Compartmentalizing my life
Just like I do all the time
Keeping life in near square boxes
But when all I want to do is keep one big box
To hold everyone and everything together
Mess me up a little
Tear down the walls a little
Unwrap the sheets around your thoughts
Don't give me a reason, an excuse
Feels like I'm on that roller coaster again
Not just someone to hold
But someone to hold for
Weights on your shoulders
Doesn't have to be all yours alone
Not asking for the caring, only for the sharing
Saturday, May 14, 2011
searching
Waiting for redemption
Struggling to escape the past that haunts me
Unsure of what I did wrong all those times
Or was it just the choices I make?
Wishing I was a little bit braver
A little bit stronger
Anything so that this beating
Heart can stop hurting
It's a tearstained keyboard
And I could try to talk myself into sanity
But I know me too well
To be able to live a lie
Struggling to escape the past that haunts me
Unsure of what I did wrong all those times
Or was it just the choices I make?
Wishing I was a little bit braver
A little bit stronger
Anything so that this beating
Heart can stop hurting
It's a tearstained keyboard
And I could try to talk myself into sanity
But I know me too well
To be able to live a lie
Sunday, May 08, 2011
the old songs
photographs and memories
pictures of those i love and those i miss
but nothing takes me back
like the tune of a familiar song
close my eyes and i can see
young girl of fourteen
listening to the words they sing
trying to imagine the love and
the heartache from every guitar string
years later on
close my eyes and i can feel
every feeling i felt
the longing from the song of a foreign tongue
the bliss of a carefree and optimistic voice
the heartache from a melancholy guitar solo
every minute a memory
forever etched in the folds of my brain
carved into a soft heart of glass
pictures of those i love and those i miss
but nothing takes me back
like the tune of a familiar song
close my eyes and i can see
young girl of fourteen
listening to the words they sing
trying to imagine the love and
the heartache from every guitar string
years later on
close my eyes and i can feel
every feeling i felt
the longing from the song of a foreign tongue
the bliss of a carefree and optimistic voice
the heartache from a melancholy guitar solo
every minute a memory
forever etched in the folds of my brain
carved into a soft heart of glass
fools
roads are long and so foggy I can't see
where am I headed? where are we going?
living from the day to day wondering about tomorrow
and everything under the sun
so come walk with me for just a little bit
show me that today is a good day
sing a song we both remember
and just take all that i have
heartaches that pulled apart the ribcage
naked red beating hearts fragile in our hands
scared to the end of time but waiting for just one moment
oh aren't we all just fools in love?
where am I headed? where are we going?
living from the day to day wondering about tomorrow
and everything under the sun
so come walk with me for just a little bit
show me that today is a good day
sing a song we both remember
and just take all that i have
heartaches that pulled apart the ribcage
naked red beating hearts fragile in our hands
scared to the end of time but waiting for just one moment
oh aren't we all just fools in love?
Monday, May 02, 2011
dreamers and believers
The dreamer and the believer
Walked hand in hand
Sandy beaches and concrete roads
The dreamer paused and looked around
Saw the idealized life
Made up beauty through rose colored glasses
But the believer saw too much
From its own travels of the past
only saw the skeletons of an idealistic time
Together the dreamer and the believer walked on
Each striving to take the lead on the dance floor
called life
Walked hand in hand
Sandy beaches and concrete roads
The dreamer paused and looked around
Saw the idealized life
Made up beauty through rose colored glasses
But the believer saw too much
From its own travels of the past
only saw the skeletons of an idealistic time
Together the dreamer and the believer walked on
Each striving to take the lead on the dance floor
called life
Sunday, May 01, 2011
intertwined
pitch black skies and a chilly breeze
dances across my face and my toes
fighting to take just one step forward at a time
learning that it's the steps that matter
more than where I find a home
though wanting nothing more than the comfort of the indoor
where do you begin
when the life you thought you had shatters to the ground
actions and inactions intertwined
simply trying to understand the world
a broken rib cage enveloping a patient heart
just watching the world turn through heavy lidded eyes once again
everything I've ever learned in this life so far
seems like penguins and polar bears
are really just the same after all
dances across my face and my toes
fighting to take just one step forward at a time
learning that it's the steps that matter
more than where I find a home
though wanting nothing more than the comfort of the indoor
where do you begin
when the life you thought you had shatters to the ground
actions and inactions intertwined
simply trying to understand the world
a broken rib cage enveloping a patient heart
just watching the world turn through heavy lidded eyes once again
everything I've ever learned in this life so far
seems like penguins and polar bears
are really just the same after all
Thursday, April 28, 2011
fingertips
pictures are memories
memories only take you so far
but this shouldn't be a memory for me
it should be every day
because if you wanted to
you would
and when I see nothing at all
the absences are paper cuts on my fingertips
memories only take you so far
but this shouldn't be a memory for me
it should be every day
because if you wanted to
you would
and when I see nothing at all
the absences are paper cuts on my fingertips
Monday, April 25, 2011
vibrant
sunlight and white clouds
the vibrant blue of a post-storm sky
crisp air drifts down into my lungs
and the wind blows
as i turn my head and see my footprints in the sand
can barely see where i started
but everything feels like yesterday
every minute and moment of the past 460 days
etched in my mind
and carved in my heart
and i move to the beat of a new song
to let the notes and the words
trickle down from head to toe
the vibrant blue of a post-storm sky
crisp air drifts down into my lungs
and the wind blows
as i turn my head and see my footprints in the sand
can barely see where i started
but everything feels like yesterday
every minute and moment of the past 460 days
etched in my mind
and carved in my heart
and i move to the beat of a new song
to let the notes and the words
trickle down from head to toe
Sunday, April 24, 2011
crimson mistake
watch the motions in the mirror
glances over a shoulder and eyes half open
where has she gone?
the necklace that she wears
a reminder everyday of the burden she bears
was it just a crimson mistake from the beginning
hands empty from the thieves that steal
voices hoarse and a tearstained face
the road from then to here
and still no closer no further than she was
oh so many evenings ago
glances over a shoulder and eyes half open
where has she gone?
the necklace that she wears
a reminder everyday of the burden she bears
was it just a crimson mistake from the beginning
hands empty from the thieves that steal
voices hoarse and a tearstained face
the road from then to here
and still no closer no further than she was
oh so many evenings ago
nothing more
love nothing more
than singing at the top of my lungs
embracing the words that come out
feeling the music down to my toes
love nothing more
than sitting in the sun on a grassy hill
watching airplanes fly across a blue sky
breathing in a crisp air
love nothing more
than drinking up a mango smoothie
carving out a watermelon for summer
picking blueberries into a bucket of mine
love nothing more
than smiling at the thought of you
wondering what's on your mind
wishing you a million hopes and dreams
than singing at the top of my lungs
embracing the words that come out
feeling the music down to my toes
love nothing more
than sitting in the sun on a grassy hill
watching airplanes fly across a blue sky
breathing in a crisp air
love nothing more
than drinking up a mango smoothie
carving out a watermelon for summer
picking blueberries into a bucket of mine
love nothing more
than smiling at the thought of you
wondering what's on your mind
wishing you a million hopes and dreams
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
evermore
ever stand in someone else's presence
can barely breathe because there's no air
ever hold someone else's hands
and we're chasing something actually there
with you i'll wait
with you we can fly
even if we're not in the here and now
just don't let it pass it by
with you i'll wait
ever wanted to give up on someone
broken down and tired
ever thought of walking away
just to end the tears and the hurt
with you i'll wait
with you i don't mind
even if we're not in the here and now
don't let me pass you by
days feel like a lifetime
but like the light at the end of the tunnel
that's where we'll keep running to
can barely breathe because there's no air
ever hold someone else's hands
and we're chasing something actually there
with you i'll wait
with you we can fly
even if we're not in the here and now
just don't let it pass it by
with you i'll wait
ever wanted to give up on someone
broken down and tired
ever thought of walking away
just to end the tears and the hurt
with you i'll wait
with you i don't mind
even if we're not in the here and now
don't let me pass you by
days feel like a lifetime
but like the light at the end of the tunnel
that's where we'll keep running to
with you i'll wait
with you i don't mind
even if we're not in the here and now
don't let me pass you by
and so i'll wait
Sunday, March 27, 2011
blink
usually not at a loss for words
as i am now
no way to describe the flow
of feelings and emotions
like an earthquake
life moved me
shook me up and down
swayed everything i ever knew
and the land falls
and the water rises
and now i find myself
breathing underwater in anoxic water
hands waving above water
waving for a hand, a help, anything
but everyone around
blinked
as i am now
no way to describe the flow
of feelings and emotions
like an earthquake
life moved me
shook me up and down
swayed everything i ever knew
and the land falls
and the water rises
and now i find myself
breathing underwater in anoxic water
hands waving above water
waving for a hand, a help, anything
but everyone around
blinked
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
ripples
fingertips brushing along the surface
of a cool and clear stream
watch as the ripples spread far away
with just one touch
paused for a moment this morning
for the first time standing
hands open, mind open, everything open
free from the words trapped inside
but freedom is nothing without you
of a cool and clear stream
watch as the ripples spread far away
with just one touch
paused for a moment this morning
for the first time standing
hands open, mind open, everything open
free from the words trapped inside
but freedom is nothing without you
Sunday, March 20, 2011
know
i can run my life
chase the dreams
i can walk alone
write my own words
and i will hope
and i will worry
and i will struggle
but it's in the moments
in the days
in the words we say
and the words unspoken
some days
i wake up
and just know
chase the dreams
i can walk alone
write my own words
and i will hope
and i will worry
and i will struggle
but it's in the moments
in the days
in the words we say
and the words unspoken
some days
i wake up
and just know
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
home
taking a walk down cobblestone roads
the chill in the air brushes my cheeks
and i look to the sky
grey, but full of promises
hopes and dreams
coming back home
watching blue skies that stand contrast
to the worries i carry close to me
some days they pull me down to
a level i can't hold onto anymore
but i think of the good times
of the good things
of the good people
of you
because i can travel the world
thousands of miles
walk in someone else's shoes
but there's nothing like coming home
the chill in the air brushes my cheeks
and i look to the sky
grey, but full of promises
hopes and dreams
coming back home
watching blue skies that stand contrast
to the worries i carry close to me
some days they pull me down to
a level i can't hold onto anymore
but i think of the good times
of the good things
of the good people
of you
because i can travel the world
thousands of miles
walk in someone else's shoes
but there's nothing like coming home
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
bricks
like a brick wall crumbling to pieces
my identity and the life i thought I had
fell apart all around me
one step forward, and three steps back
almost everything i ever thought i knew
shattered as the wheels hit the tarmac
left to pick up the pieces
but arms too tired to pick up the weight
wanting nothing more than to lay in the sun
and tape the paper pieces of my mind together again
because it's not my heart
but rather my mind
that's in trouble this time
my identity and the life i thought I had
fell apart all around me
one step forward, and three steps back
almost everything i ever thought i knew
shattered as the wheels hit the tarmac
left to pick up the pieces
but arms too tired to pick up the weight
wanting nothing more than to lay in the sun
and tape the paper pieces of my mind together again
because it's not my heart
but rather my mind
that's in trouble this time
Monday, March 07, 2011
fire and passion
asking questions that have no answers
using frameworks to find something, anything
turned around and found
my fire burning ran out of oxygen
and left me with a pile of ashes
like dust falling through my fingers
unsure of where to begin
if to begin again at all
a lost traveler with no destination
staring at the Departures board
searching for a ground to stand on again
for an ember to light the flames
for a destination and direction
even if i never get there
using frameworks to find something, anything
turned around and found
my fire burning ran out of oxygen
and left me with a pile of ashes
like dust falling through my fingers
unsure of where to begin
if to begin again at all
a lost traveler with no destination
staring at the Departures board
searching for a ground to stand on again
for an ember to light the flames
for a destination and direction
even if i never get there
Saturday, February 12, 2011
water fall
sat out in the sun today
minutes for the first time in a long time
feeling the heat bear down on my skin
and listened to the water fall
wanted to clear my head
clear the dust from this past week
prepared for a new one
no way to be but completely alert
but all i could do
was sit in the sun
watch the water fall
and miss you
minutes for the first time in a long time
feeling the heat bear down on my skin
and listened to the water fall
wanted to clear my head
clear the dust from this past week
prepared for a new one
no way to be but completely alert
but all i could do
was sit in the sun
watch the water fall
and miss you
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
cold air
it's a pitch black night sky that envelopes me
and it's a hard concrete that hits my soles
i know when i wake tomorrow
my legs won't be able to carry my weight
but then cold air fills up my heartfelt lungs
and horses run through my veins
running on 3 hours of sleep
literally, all day
but never feeling more alive or awake
than those minutes spent chasing after nothing
feet just passing time
and i know there's only one reason
why i'll wake up tomorrow
and feel this good kind of pain
and it's a hard concrete that hits my soles
i know when i wake tomorrow
my legs won't be able to carry my weight
but then cold air fills up my heartfelt lungs
and horses run through my veins
running on 3 hours of sleep
literally, all day
but never feeling more alive or awake
than those minutes spent chasing after nothing
feet just passing time
and i know there's only one reason
why i'll wake up tomorrow
and feel this good kind of pain
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Friday, February 04, 2011
one and two
investment banking is a sprint
public accounting a marathon
case competitions sink or swim
and academics a fight
hardwired to compete
like a hamster running in a wheel
always running the race
falling in and out of breath everyday
this morning i woke up and realized
not everything in life is a race
the beauty of dancing is just
one step up and two steps back
and on and on it goes
so forgive me and the limits i push
because i'm just learning how to breathe again
public accounting a marathon
case competitions sink or swim
and academics a fight
hardwired to compete
like a hamster running in a wheel
always running the race
falling in and out of breath everyday
this morning i woke up and realized
not everything in life is a race
the beauty of dancing is just
one step up and two steps back
and on and on it goes
so forgive me and the limits i push
because i'm just learning how to breathe again
Thursday, February 03, 2011
runner
too impatient for walking
always been a runner
chasing after humans and ghosts
after thoughts and emotions
after time and after you
always been a hunter
never really pulled an arrow
too scared of the aftermath
the morning after the catch
sometimes running so fast
i lose my breath in the air
heart stops in time
but i remember your smile
and your hands
and i make it through another day
because there is hope for tomorrow
and every day after that
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
midnight lights
Another day gone by
and still the first thought and the last note
on my mind remains the same
looking for reasons to stay focused
terrified of waking up in the morning
and standing with an empty box in my hands
but love is patient
and love is kind
and love is little leaps of faith
i'm standing on the edge of a cliff
toes ready and willing to let go
trusting that when i fall
you'll be there to catch me
and still the first thought and the last note
on my mind remains the same
looking for reasons to stay focused
terrified of waking up in the morning
and standing with an empty box in my hands
but love is patient
and love is kind
and love is little leaps of faith
i'm standing on the edge of a cliff
toes ready and willing to let go
trusting that when i fall
you'll be there to catch me
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
intensity
realized this morning
too often i build a barricade
unable to let in
unwilling to step out
holding so many at arm's length
and i wonder why
hating myself all the while for doing it
yet i can't make it leave
trying to figure myself out
sometimes i can barely breathe
so here i am wondering why
i'd do almost anything for those in my life
yet i keep that black box closed shut
for just about everyone
but for the first time
it's cracking and breaking into pieces
an intensity i can't describe
and i find it hard to breathe again
too often i build a barricade
unable to let in
unwilling to step out
holding so many at arm's length
and i wonder why
hating myself all the while for doing it
yet i can't make it leave
trying to figure myself out
sometimes i can barely breathe
so here i am wondering why
i'd do almost anything for those in my life
yet i keep that black box closed shut
for just about everyone
but for the first time
it's cracking and breaking into pieces
an intensity i can't describe
and i find it hard to breathe again
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
beam
I really don't have anything I can put into words
But the Weepies always say it best:::
"I Was Made for Sunny Days"
found the book you gave me
when we were first in bloom
when i thought that you might save me
from the dark side of the moon
instead we both went walking
to the shadows in the bloom
and we never did stop talking
and you still light up the room
i say
i was made for sunny days
i made do with grey
but i didn't stay
i was made for sunny days
and i was made for you
But the Weepies always say it best:::
"I Was Made for Sunny Days"
found the book you gave me
when we were first in bloom
when i thought that you might save me
from the dark side of the moon
instead we both went walking
to the shadows in the bloom
and we never did stop talking
and you still light up the room
i say
i was made for sunny days
i made do with grey
but i didn't stay
i was made for sunny days
and i was made for you
be
not a day goes by
when you're not on my mind
in my thoughts
in the faces that pass me by
in the letters I write
in the songs I sing
be my muse
be the arms that keep me warm
be the sun after the storm
be the voice in my ears
be the one I lean on
too long I've been walking alone
on my own
Always been strong enough for myself
but for once I would consider falling
if you were there to catch me
Monday, January 17, 2011
neither
the sunny days are here again
and thoughts of you bring the smile to this face
and this heart again
but on the other side
you've torn me up and sideways
but i'm still in pieces about you
here i am, fork in the road
heart split up and down the middle
i take a look to my right
and to my left
so i back up and run away in neither direction
to tape and glue the pieces together on my own
again
and thoughts of you bring the smile to this face
and this heart again
but on the other side
you've torn me up and sideways
but i'm still in pieces about you
here i am, fork in the road
heart split up and down the middle
i take a look to my right
and to my left
so i back up and run away in neither direction
to tape and glue the pieces together on my own
again
Friday, January 07, 2011
sunny days
pearl white clouds
drift across an almost cerulean sky
and i close my eyes
and i think of you
so much of my life
spent running and chasing
after all the things i thought i wanted
all the obligations i ever had
to take one minute
breathe in and pause
i remember the happy memories i've made
and i'm suddenly hopeful
for the sunny days again
searching
always prided myself on my strength
my resilience
but ever since that one fall day
i've been crumbling
from all of this
wanting nothing more than
to wrap myself
and only myself
in a cocoon
and on my own,
search for my happiness again
my resilience
but ever since that one fall day
i've been crumbling
from all of this
wanting nothing more than
to wrap myself
and only myself
in a cocoon
and on my own,
search for my happiness again
Thursday, January 06, 2011
pieces
sunlight drifts through the curtains
and the rays cast a shadow on the wall
oh what a time it's been
filled with thoughts and memories
happy memories and sad interludes
weighted by the ones of you
now just a collection of broken pieces
shattered through the transit
and i'm held together
by glue and tape
and part of me wishes i could turn back time
and do it all over again
and the rays cast a shadow on the wall
oh what a time it's been
filled with thoughts and memories
happy memories and sad interludes
weighted by the ones of you
now just a collection of broken pieces
shattered through the transit
and i'm held together
by glue and tape
and part of me wishes i could turn back time
and do it all over again
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
cold water
cold water of the Atlantic
rushing over my toes and around my ankles
staring out into the horizon
life on my mind
caught between the easy way
and the right way
torn between speaking and silence
these words need to fly out soon
because i hate to give up
but i can't repeat last fall this spring
waiting in line for 90 minutes
for a 2 minute thrill ride
was quite the story of my life
and i can count the good times on two hands
but not the tears that fell far and in between
so my toes dip into the coarse sand again
too often putting others' happiness before my own
the people pleaser
the unconditional helper
watching the water i realize
i've given up my own happiness
but no longer
rushing over my toes and around my ankles
staring out into the horizon
life on my mind
caught between the easy way
and the right way
torn between speaking and silence
these words need to fly out soon
because i hate to give up
but i can't repeat last fall this spring
waiting in line for 90 minutes
for a 2 minute thrill ride
was quite the story of my life
and i can count the good times on two hands
but not the tears that fell far and in between
so my toes dip into the coarse sand again
too often putting others' happiness before my own
the people pleaser
the unconditional helper
watching the water i realize
i've given up my own happiness
but no longer
Sunday, January 02, 2011
dawn
end of another year, another life
each year, the lessons learned
become a longer list
this year i learned
that nothing is black and white
and life is lived in shades of grey
that emotions sometimes just need to be cried out
and only the true friends hold you
that love is a present
but it comes not without heartbreak
that the tears last night
are only for a better morning
that the dreams of yesterday
are only for a better tomorrow
that the hands i held once
are only meant to be let go
that knowing the right thing to do
and doing the right thing are two completely different things
that hand prints on my skin
leave bruises on my heart
that those same bruises eventually heal
and my resilience only makes me stronger
that i am a better person because of you
and i have no regrets
that the happy ending is sometimes just
letting it all go
each year, the lessons learned
become a longer list
this year i learned
that nothing is black and white
and life is lived in shades of grey
that emotions sometimes just need to be cried out
and only the true friends hold you
that love is a present
but it comes not without heartbreak
that the tears last night
are only for a better morning
that the dreams of yesterday
are only for a better tomorrow
that the hands i held once
are only meant to be let go
that knowing the right thing to do
and doing the right thing are two completely different things
that hand prints on my skin
leave bruises on my heart
that those same bruises eventually heal
and my resilience only makes me stronger
that i am a better person because of you
and i have no regrets
that the happy ending is sometimes just
letting it all go
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
the snow and the skin
you are the skin
and i am the snow
my heart a collection of frozen parts
snowflakes that fall
parts that you have chipped away
and they fly and fall with the wind
small and intact
hardened with resolve
but when they land on your skin
they melt at your touch
all the resolve i ever had
gone at your fingertips again
and i am the snow
my heart a collection of frozen parts
snowflakes that fall
parts that you have chipped away
and they fly and fall with the wind
small and intact
hardened with resolve
but when they land on your skin
they melt at your touch
all the resolve i ever had
gone at your fingertips again
Saturday, December 25, 2010
oh
oh what a year is today
almost near a lifetime lived
in 360 days
spring began with the bitter cold
and mists of a 3am morning
found a white rabbit
and fell into a hole chasing him
day in and day out
only one on my mind
summer arrived with the heat
and the sun and promise of something
new, exciting, but not without pain
still i walk on in hopes of something good
as fast as it ever was
summer slid into fall
and my hair fell down as the winds blew
and so did the tears that came with the love
standing in the middle of winter now
and the edge of a new year
which way will the wind carry me
this time?
almost near a lifetime lived
in 360 days
spring began with the bitter cold
and mists of a 3am morning
found a white rabbit
and fell into a hole chasing him
day in and day out
only one on my mind
summer arrived with the heat
and the sun and promise of something
new, exciting, but not without pain
still i walk on in hopes of something good
as fast as it ever was
summer slid into fall
and my hair fell down as the winds blew
and so did the tears that came with the love
standing in the middle of winter now
and the edge of a new year
which way will the wind carry me
this time?
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